Life in the slow lane

If you know me, then you know I'm an Eagles fan. While I love the guitar work in the song, "Life in the Fast Lane", I'd never want to live the lyrics.  As it turns out, I may not be the only one who doesn't connect with them ...

Life in the Fast Lane drains my will to live. I abhor this one. I loathe this song with every fiber of my being. (Music critic from the Louisville Examiner)

And hey, as an adult with ADHD, Dyslexia with a little OCD thrown in ... I have my share of "brain in the fast lane"!

But this post is about a leadership discipline that could be called, moving to life in the slow lane. It something I recognize but really struggle to put into practice. To be honest, I'm working on it these days and getting some traction, so its easier to write about it now.

The truth is, there is a huge set of encouragements, even rewards for being a "manic leader". You know, on the go, productive, involved and busy! And if you are like me and you love what you do ... and you love the people you do it with ... why not just keep up the manic pace?

Any sane person can recognize a bunch of reasons to slow down the pace, but let me suggest that you'll never be the leader you were called to be unless you take time to reflect.

Whether you lead a small group, a department or an entire organization, there are insights and directions that can only be discovered "away from the action." And, if you lead other leaders, they will observe your style and emulate your best (and worst) characteristics.

The more significant decisions require the most reflection. That means, looking through the lens of past performance, present reality and future possibility. Of course, no matter what the circumstance, this must be done with a sense of hope.

When we embrace reality and look honestly at what could be, we meet our God who continues to create and transform. As leaders, we regain the sense of hope that what is, can be changed and it can be change for good.

For me, this sense of hope comes when I move into the slow lane and take precious time to reflect. So I take time every day to reflect on major decisions, then each week I take some extended time and every quarter, I take time away from the action ... mostly to be reflective.

Lots more I could say, but this is a good start ... so, join me in the slow lane!

Brene Brown on TED: The power of vulnerability

Simply one of the best and most powerful talks I've heard in a long time! Hang in for the full 20 minutes and experience an uplifting ending. I was wiping the tears as I listened to timeless teaching through her journey. Thanks Dave Loney for pointing me to this link!

Overview: How do we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections so that we can engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to recognize that we are enough – that we are worthy of love, belonging, and joy?

Gut Wrenching Hope

Sebastian Biber

Pictured here is my friend Sebastian, a fun and happy kid from Austria. Yvonne and I love him and his parent Peter and Maria. Last time they visited with us, Sebastian made us laugh so much and brought real joy to our home.

He was traveling North America by "couch surfing" and introduced us to this cool kind of travel. Sebastian is just that kind of person ... the kind who can go from home to home (couch to couch), meet new people, make friends, bring laughter and leave a blessing.

Tragedy hit their town in Austria as one of Sebastian's close friends drowned. Peter told me that Sebastian gathered friends on the couch in his own home and was helping them process the grief. In the midst of his own loss, he was helping others. Well done my friend!

When a young life is lost, it is tragic, when those closest feel like they could have ... should have done something, it is even more tragic. To be clear, there is no blame here, nothing that could have been done, but that does not stop friends from playing out the "what if "scenarios over and over.

Our son Brett has been through this journey as he lost a very close friend and like Sebastian, helped his friends process pain, loss and grief while he walk that deep valley. Its just gut wrenching.

So Sebastian, we pray for you ... we pray with you. We cry with you and we love you. We pray for your friends and for their families as they go through this gut wrenching loss.

This is my hope ... as you face the reality that life and death live as neighbours in our world, may you continue to choose life. Yes, there is always hope! Gut wrenching hope.

If Anyone Takes Your Sunglasses, Let Them Have your Kit Kat Also

If Anyone Takes Your Sunglasses, Let Them Have your Kit Kat Also:
Su Roland writes ...

"While on a trip to Rome with our dear friends Gary, Joy, Joe and Jan, we were robbed by a band of gypsies while on a Metro train. We might have suspected what was going on, except that the group who crowded into our train car were young women carrying their babies. It seemed strange to have five young moms all get on at once and not talk to one another. Joe graciously offered his seat to one of them, but she ignored him and stood between the two of us. As we jostled through the moms and babies to get off at the next stop, Joe thought he felt a baby's foot pressed against his waistline. It was the mom's hand which successfully fetched cash and train tickets from his money belt and managed to unzip my own pack as well and grab my sunglasses. We realized what was happening before the train doors could close, but there was nothing we could do about it.

As the six of us gathered our wits and assessed the losses, we actually saw that very mom further up the platform! We ran after her and stopped her, asking for our things back. Since she was working in a pack of thieves, I'm sure she had already passed off our cash or glasses to another. She protested her innocence, but made no effort to escape. Joe and I ended up wasting over an hour in a hot, smoky, crowded Metro police office while the rest of our group waited outside the door.

We caught an insider's glimpse of how the Rome Metro police work (0r don't work!). At times we had up to eight officials in the room with us, doing absolutely nothing. One of them spoke English and told us we could not leave until the city police showed. We were literally prisoners in that stuffy, dark room! Meanwhile the gypsy mom continued to insist upon her innocence, vociferously protesting her detention and complaining of the heat.

After an hour or so I was feeling light-headed and asked permission to have Woody buy me a candy bar. Woody knocked at the door and handed me two Kit Kats, telling me to give the second one to the gypsy. I looked at him incredulously. 'Really? Give her one?' Woody gently encouraged me to do it.

At first she sullenly refused the Kit Kat. I kindly looked her in the eyes and insisted. The English-speaking officer told her in Italian, 'Go ahead. Take it! She wants you to have it.'

Thanks to Woody's encouragement, I began to change my perspective towards the gypsy mom. I began to pray for her. I knew that there was no chance we'd retrieve any of our lost possessions. The only way to redeem this lost time in Rome was to see the situation through God's eyes.

Shortly after eating her Kit Kat, she spoke to me through the translator. 'If I had the money, I'd give it back. I really would.' She even told me how many work in their band of thieves, though she still insisted she hadn't stolen from us herself.

When the Rome police finally showed up, they were not particularly friendly or helpful. The best thing they could do for us was to finally release us from that smoky, hot room which felt like our own prison cell by that point. They said they were escorting her out of the subway (where I'm pretty sure they just let her go!). Before leaving, though, I asked if I could share a few words with her through our translator. As a bevy of police stood around, I shared a few inadequate, but heartfelt words. 'God loves you and wants to forgive you. I believe you that you'd give back the money if you could. You need to turn to God to find forgiveness and to have the power to choose a different lifestyle. This is no way for you to live or raise your child. God wants you to turn to Him.'

I know that she is a woman hardened by life's circumstances, but I trust God spoke to her through my paltry words and Woody's prompting to be Christ to her in some small way. As for me, the loss of my sunglasses was worth the spiritual lessons I learned.

The next day I was reading from the book of Proverbs, and verse after verse struck me. Among them:

• If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. Proverbs 25:21
• Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. Proverbs 6:30

That day I was also reading from Prayer by Philip Yancey. No one needs our love more than the unlovely. We should stand beside our enemies and plead to God on their behalf. After all, who else will pray for them?

I doubt many people pray for that young gypsy woman. I'm sad that I did not ask her name. Her face, I will not forget. And, even as I write this blog, I am reminded to pray for her, that my inadequate words might be used in some small way to open her heart to the new life God would have for her."

Birthdays and Courage

Yvonne and I had a great time with Gerry Fowler, family, friends and Gerry's church community called Bethel Chapel ... all located in beautiful Sault Ste Marie. Gerry is a very capable board chair, friend and all-around travelling buddy. As I joked with his friends, "I've shared a room with Gerry and heard him snore on several continents and in many languages!" Let me dare to say that we make a great team as board chair and CEO and I look forward to more years working together.

Gerry invests in the lives of people, families and his community. His birthday celebration was filled with the love of family and friends, and that was a simple but profound tribute to Gerry's investment strategy. Yvonne and I had some great conversations but none more meaningful than our conversations (over two days) with Debbie and Dave Yule. They have a deep faith and great courage as they face Debbie's cancer along with the barrage of appointments, treatments, life-altering changes and the ever-present fear that Dave could become a single parent!

People question faith when they see us in the normal stuff of life. People doubt the love of God in the midst of tough circumstances on a personal or global scale. But it is difficult to doubt the courage found in faith that you encounter in the presence of Debbie and Dave. To be clear, they do not think of themselves as special, or so-called saints. No, they see themselves as ordinary people who do not seek to stand out in any way. But somewhere along this journey, a local community rallied with prayer and action, and then a larger community joined in. Now they journey together loving, supporting and learning through challenges of life and a life-threatening disease.

From a distance, many of us join this journey by praying. You can too! Check out their Facebook group for updates.  Please Pray for Debbie.

How Great Leaders Inspire Action: Simon Sinek @ TED

Genuine Love

I've been reading on Sojourners site a bit and came across this quote ... and I love it!

Genuine Christian love is forged against the anvil of our selfishness and possessiveness. It is important to remember that love is more than a feeling. It is active and transitive. The real test of my loving is not that I feel loving, but that the other person feels loved by me. Love is what I do to create this sense of feeling cared for.

Morton T. Kelsey
From his book, "Companions on the Inner Way"

Words of Anguish

"Confront me with the truth and I'll shut up,
show me where I've gone off the track.
Honest words never hurt anyone,
but what's the point of all this pious bluster?
You pretend to tell me what's wrong with my life,
but treat my words of anguish as so much hot air.
Are people mere things to you?
Are friends just items of profit and loss?

Job 6:25-27 The Message

I've been thinking about this passage of Job quite a bit recently. From my own journey, to those close to me who go through really tough times. Sometimes our words do "belong to the wind", because we speak from our pain. More difficult to deal with however, is the feeling that our words fall on deaf ears and we become less human for a moment.

I am thankful that Jesus hears me whenever I cry out, he hears my groans as clear expressions of a heavy heart. Yes, he does hear and I know that with certainty. But, if I'm fully honest with myself, I still need a person to look into my eyes as they listen to me, and to acknowledge my feelings. Then my humanity is restored and I can journey on and give myself to others in that same kind of 'human listening'.

A Few Personal Reflections On Teamwork

Yvonne and I are in our 20th year of service with International Teams. It feels like yesterday we joined Kim Loney for our first trip into Eastern Europe, but as I look back I see many changes over the years.

One of the constants over these years is teamwork. When training new people with IT, I’ve often said that, “Long before teamwork was a management approach and long after the teamwork fad has faded, we at International Teams have been doing team.”

However, as you spend time living life on a team you discover it can be really tough! We know there are various types of teams but what they have in common is, that when it’s working, teamwork increases effectiveness exponentially!

Here is my personal, bottom line for teamwork effectiveness. That is, teamwork is built on trust. Full stop. People who choose to be trustworthy, come together as a team, with a mandate and they work hard together to build, preserve and when necessary, restore trust. That is my personal conviction and my goal, to build trust.

Go and build your team on trust!

Dan Fogelberg Performs "There's A Place In The World For A Gambler"

ONCE: Theme song, Falling Slowly

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

I miss my dad. Howard M. Ostrander (1929 -2005) was a man of peace. He was described by his co-workers and friends as someone who could "spread his warmth and humour to all those around him". His former boss called my dad, "A pillar in his community in Elmira, Ontario ... and someone with an endless number of jokes up his sleeve!" How true, that was my dad.

But at a deeper level, my dad was a man of peace. As he was spending his last week with us on planet earth, I was so impressed with how he could bless others as he was so ready to die. Not easy to say, but a great memory. A man who lived at peace with those around him, no one, not anyone from anywhere had to rush to his death bed to make amends. All who came to his hospital bed, came to have a final visit, to share a memory, a song or a verse of two from scripture.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Dad, thanks for the great example. I'll see if I can live my life in such a way that I honour memory and our lord.

On Fathers Day We Need to Bring Peace

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Milt Priggee - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

You matter

Quoted from Seth Godin's Blog
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/06/you-matter.html

1. When you love the work you do and the people you do it with, you matter.
2. When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself, you matter.
3. When you leave the world a better place than you found it, you matter.
4. When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it, you matter.
5. When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean, you matter.
6. When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words), you matter.
7. When kids grow up wanting to be you, you matter.
8. When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it could be, you matter.
9. When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller, you matter.
10. When the room brightens when you walk in, you matter.
11. And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime, you matter.

The Buzz of Learning

Still having a great time learning, I am getting such a buzz from it all.

Had an academic and an author talk to us the other day, and he referred to
some very fascinating people. One of whom was Paulo Freire.

Freire wrote this:

"The Right in its rigidity prefers the dead to the living; the static to the dynamic; the future as a repetition of the past rather than as a creative venture; pathological forms of love rather than real love; frigid schematization rather than the emotion of living; gregariousness rather than authentic living together; organization men rather than men who organize; imposed myths rather than incarnated values; directives rather than creative and communicative language; and slogans rather than challenges"

(Freire, Paulo. Cultural Action and Conscientization pp.72-73).

I found this statement very challenging and very confronting but very
helpful. Just wanted to share it with you.

Wikepedia has a section on Freire, very interesting character.

Andrew Collins
Enjoy your journey

VALUES CLARIFICATION

VALUES affect so many decisions and actions in our lives, it is best that we understand them and that we align our choices, behaviour and actions with our values. When we make an effort to understand our values, it is easier to keep our priorities in the right order and our actions in line with our beliefs.

Values clarification is a process a person might go through to discover and clarify their values and to bring his/her values in line with behaviour.

Clarify Values

1. Ask yourself, “If I only had 24 hours left to live, how would I spend them?”

2. List twenty possible values and rank them from most to least important for you.

3. Make a pie chart of your top fine values and compare it to your calendar. Are you really spending as much time as you would like on your values?

4. Associate consistent and inconsistent behaviour with each of your top five values.

Identify Full Values

A FULL VALUE is one which is truly and entirely held by a person. Raths, Simon & Harmin (1996) developed seven questions to help identify full values. By taking a value and answering yes to all seven questions, one would define a full value. Please take each of your top values and identify if they are full values.

1. Was the value freely chosen?

2. Was the value chosen from alternatives or was it the only choice?

3. Was the value chosen after considerations of the consequences of this value?

4. Do you cherish the value? Does it make you happy?

5. Are you willing to publicly affirm this is a value to hold?

6. Are you acting on the value (or is it something that is said)?

7. Do you display this value repeatedly and consistently?

Sample Values List

Accuracy	Choice	Tranquility
Adventure	Growth	Resilience
Authenticity	Harmony	Results
Independence	Humor	Risk
Beauty	Honesty	Romance
Nature	Fitness	Success
Aesthetics	Wellness	Security
Collaboration	Freedom	Spirituality
Commitment	Joy	Tradition
Service	Fun	Self-expression
Creativity	Integrity	Trust
Directness	Justice	Vitality
Elegance	Leadership	Zest
Empowerment	Nurturing	Recognition
Mastery	Order	Power
Excellence	Peace	Learning

Article adapted from a content session at the "Milestone April 09", A leadership course offered at the Soderquist Center for Leadership and Ethics. http://www.soderquist.org/

On Holy Ground

A few things on my mind and my heart this morning and I would like to share them for prayer. Here is a summary:

1. Bob Fukumoto in hospital again with post surgery complications. (He donated a kidney to his nephew)
2. Gerry Fowler taking the funeral for his mother-in-law today (Sat.)
3. Thankful for a good meeting with Stephen Freed and some of my leadership team
4. Thankful for good board meeting and great board members at ITCA
5. Thinking/planning/praying ahead of ILT meetings this next week

It is a beautiful summer-like Saturday morning and Yvonne is away with an old and dear friend, so I have some quiet time to reflect and pray. Once again, we have come through a very productive and powerful week of life, work, ministry and relationships.

We had our ITCA Annual Meeting and Board meetings on Wed. and, the Annual Meeting is when the audit of the prior year's books is reviewed. Thanks to some great work by our team, we had a good and clean audit which, is never taken for granted. With a lot of growth and mobilization last year, we find ourselves in the tightest cash position we have experienced in years. Again, thanks to good people, good leadership decisions and great teamwork, we are making adjustments that should reduce this stress but, it will take us the balance of this year to address these issues.

Stephen Freed (International Director) joined me and some of my leadership team on Thurs for a broad ranging discussion on organizational, philosophical and historical matters relating to our mutual commitment excellence in mission and effective missionary mobilization and deployment. It was a good time and my team said they learned a few things. Stephen and I both commented that it felt a bit like old times. Thanks Stephen.

Friday our team of business and ITCA leaders gathered for an Africa reunion and debrief. What a great group! We laugh easily, share our lives and even the tears come as we look at pictures, see names in print and remember the people who impacted us. We gathered for an evening presentation at Pastor Bill Horne's church and that too was meaningful. I positioned myself so I could see Enoch (former refugee) during the presentation and his face would light up with joy as he saw pictures of his old friends and former home. I was touched by his spontaneous response to go stand by Pastor Bill and ask if he could say a word of thanks to his church. With sincerity and elegance, he thanked his new church of brothers, sister, mothers, fathers and grandparents. We stood on holy ground last evening as we witnessed the transforming power of Jesus in this man. And, Bill's church has been transformed by the presence of these African 'former' refugees.

As the Africa presentation was ending I got a call from Gary Sharpe who was at the home of Bob and Jan Fukumoto. He said, "Neil, its not good, Bob is in rough shape." Bob will have more tests in hospital today, but he is in a great deal of pain post the surgery two weeks ago when he donated a kidney to his nephew. There are complications with the blood flow to the bowel and it is quite serious. Please pray with us for Bob (and Jan and family).

Gerry Fowler joined us for much of this week although, he had to get back home Thurs night so he missed the Africa Team reunion and, we missed Gerry. I'm amazed at the time Gerry gives to IT and thankful for his deep commitment and experiential wisdom. Those of us on the ILT will see Gerry next week, as he makes his next investment into our lives and ministry. Today however, he is with Betsi and the extended family, being husband, dad, grand dad, friend and pastor. Betsi's mom 'graduated' to glory this week and the family asked Gerry, the eloquent and sometimes emotional speaker, to conduct the funeral. We will pray with you Gerry and "give 'em heaven!"

Thanks for reading, thanks for caring and thanks for praying. I'm reminded this morning ... "No one does this alone."

Blessings today,
Neil

My '2x4' weekend is half done

Its a long weekend and Tues morning I'm off to a Leadership Development course for the week. Yvonne is away in Regina with two of her girlfriends, and I am at home, alone with tons to do before I leave. Lately, I've hit a whole new level in my 'multitasking' and my mind and spirit are weary. You might say, 'mega multitasking'. But then again, who would say something like that? In any case, you get my drift!

It has been another long winter but for me, the spring always brings with it inspiration! These days, I don't feel like I have the same level of fitness I did say, this time last year. So, let's put the multitasking on hold, and for four days I'm doing two cardio workouts per day. That's my '2x4' weekend!

So, its the evening of day two and I'm half way. Now what?


I had a good run in the morning. The sun was bright and warm, but the wind had a damp bite to it. Thanks to some good gear I have (not new but good), I was able to be comfortable temperature wise, but my legs got heavy from the middle point onward. The last small but long hill was a killer. As I use this running as training for my participation in the annual Ride for Refugee (http://www.rideforrefugees.com), I pulled memory images of refugees I've met over the years. I called to mind the fact that they can't quit the journey, so, I am not going to quit either!

[Rest]

In the early evening, I hit the trails on my off-road bike and even though it was still sunny, the North wind had power and bite. The idea was to ride easy, get a little lactic acid out of the muscles, but the wind and the soft trails made the ride more challenging than I expected. Sections of the trail were still soft from the spring thaw and I saw some snow, hiding in gullies away from the suns rays.

It was neat to observe the wildlife going about their spring chores too. A beaver was startled as I approached, several ground hogs scurried for cover and lots of birds sang me along the track. Taking it all in, the trail, the wildlife, the setting sun, is half the pleasure for me!

At the end of the day I have that sense of satisfaction that comes with pushing myself and seeing how I respond physically and mentally. Today, I did okay.

Tonight I'll do a little stretching, a lot of resting and see what tomorrow brings.